The Worrier in Me

Of course with a title like that you had to know this would be a post from the male half of this relationship.  This is the point of the pregnancy that is equal parts excitement and worry.  I get excited and awed by the little moments of this journey.  Like when sit down at night and sing to Shiloh.  Each time I do, he begins to move and position his head to where he is closer to my voice.  And then there is that glow coming from Carrie that just melts my heart everytime I see her.  All of the plans that are coming together fill us with this sense of anticpation.  We are eagerly awaiting that day when we hold him in our arms.

Then there is the equal part of worry.  That sometimes impending feeling of doom.  It has more to do with all of the hard times I have gone through in my life than anything else, but every once in a while, it sneaks in.  We chose not to do the blood screening for genetic abnormaltities because it wouldn't change the outcome if we did.  Maybe that was bad for me because I will wonder until the day he comes out, but I know even in the worst circumstances I will love this boy.

Right now my biggest battle is with the worrier in me.  That has always been my job.  I was the one in the family the worry fell on.  I was the one with the answers.  In this situation, sometimes in kicks in in overdrive. So I battle as I wait, praying and claiming the promises we feel God has given us, a healthy baby as our inheritance.  A precious trust to raise in the ways of God.

So pray with me.  Pray that God will cradle my little boy in His hands until he is complete, and even as he takes his first breath of the air in this world.  Pray that everything from Shiloh to his delivery will be normal and perfect.  Pray for peace in my heart as I battle my alter-ego.  Pray that God will be evident in the 2 months to come as we try to patiently wait for Shiloh's arrival.